Some Love Story Are Just Tragic

​”You were my little baby girl

And I knew all your fears

Such joy to hold you in my arms

And kiss away your tears

But now you’re gone

There’s only pain

And nothing I can do

And I don’t want to live this life

If I can’t live for you.

– Sid Vicious’ poem, ‘Nancy’


Impact, not Social Norm, that Drives People

So I was watching a Tedx Talk that said, the most effective way to tell people to do things is to say that that thing is a social norm, that many other people do that too. Like for example in the Talk, how in hotel room, saying  “Other guests reuse their towel” is more effective rather than saying “Reuse the towel to protect environment” to make people reuse their towel.

I don’t know, for me the saving environment thingy is more likely make me reuse the towel. And the reason it doesn’t take effect on some (or most, according to her) people is that maybe people don’t see that their act will really making effect. People don’t see reusing their towel will really protect the environment.

Like on telling people to not litter case. I think people don’t litter simply because other people litters, but because If they don’t litter, it will still dirty anyway because other people still do. And people only  use majority behavior simply as justifications of their action. I find it unlikely that people will litter in a clean environment.

Why showing that it will take effect will work, take her example about how a water leak in your pipe. It can cost you money if it don’t fix. It will be effective if you show the effect that if they fix it, their water bill will reduce. Not because people hate losing as she point out (I mean, yeah, that, too) but it is more because people can see the impact of the told action. That is what will make people do it. And I’m agreeing to her point about personalized your statement but not for the things she point out, but because the impact people care the most is the impact to themselves.

I quite agree with few of her points, only not agree with what the conclusion is being “promoting things as social norm for it to be followed” but more like “showing that the action, the thing that you tell them to do, will take effect”. But of course, if things are “social norm” it is more likely to take effect. If you break social norm, it will have impact on you. People wouldn’t want that.

It may seems like I’m saying the same thing as she is, but the base that I’m using is different so it make all the difference.

Let’s go back to the the first example I wrote above as been said by her:

Saying  “Other guests reuse their towel” is more effective rather than saying “Reuse the towel to protect environment” to make people reuse their towel.

In this case, if you’re not reuse your towel, you will not suffering the impact of breaking “social norm” because you’re doing it in the private-ness of your hotel room. Thus saying “Other guests reuse their towel” will be as ineffective as saying “Reuse the towel to protect environment”. And I don’t believe her saying that it is more effective because she doesn’t prove her statistic in a more mathematical manners. I say the most effective way of saying it would be “We will not change your towel so please do reuse it”, that way people will see the impact of their action (of not reusing the towel) and definitely will follow.

I was going to make a long post to explain my point but I’m just too lazy. I mean, it’s 3 AM in the morning and I don’t even know why I’m writing this to begin with.

To Protect Thee

I think the reason why my religion prohibits body alteration is that human just don’t know where to stop.

They do it once, they do it again. And again, and again. Some of it turns horribly wrong.

The more I think about it, all the limitation sets in religion is there to protect us (most often then not, from ourself) not to limit us.

On Giving Advise to Adult

When your acquaintance came up to you and say things like “this is bad for you” as if they’re doing you a favor, like giving free advise, it’s just plain awkward.

At this point of life, I think, people already know what’s bad for them, and for their own personal reason they do it anyway. So there’s no need for telling them something is bad for them. Unless they come to you asking for advice, it’s better if you just keep it to yourself.

Unless you’re very close to them.

Tentang Selera

Seorang teman – sehabis ia dikatakan norak karena menjadi penyuka musik dangdut – pernah berkata begini “Kalau masih ada genre musik yang dianggap norak, maka orang itulah yang sebenarnya norak”.

Pernyataan ini saya amini sepenuh hati.

Jenis musik yang disuka seseorang dipengaruhi oleh lingkungan, tren, doktrin media dan terlebih selera. Seseorang yang menyukai suatu jenis musik karena ‘sesuai selera’nya, tentu tidak akan menganggap penyuka musik lain ‘norak’, karena ia paham selera tentu saja berbeda-beda.

Orang yang mengganggap jenis musik tertentu ‘norak’ biasanya menyukai jenis musik tertentu karena jenis musik tersebut dianggap ‘keren’ oleh orang lain atau orang kebanyakan. Tentunya penyuka-musik-Jazz-yang-sebenarnya-tidak-suka-tapi-hanya-mengaku-aku-agar-dianggap-keren tidak lebih keren daripada penyuka musik dangdut yang memang benaran suka, bukan?

Being a mere-follower is never cool.

Dia Ketiga Kali

Dia kepada siapa ku persembahkan
Darah pertama, manis, asam dan hitam
Pada lesung pipi tertaut cinta cinta
Guratan biru kulitnya mencari
Panas dan gairah diujung hari

Dia kepada siapa ku kuak
Jati diri, giung dan tengik
Setan terlepas dari jeruji
Menampar, meludah, meronta
Membusuk semakin lama
Membuat gila kau, aku, kita

Dia yang tergenggam erat hingga terserpih
Kepada dia selamanya terpatri
Ikrar terikat darah
Aku ingin sekali lagi