Unfinished Until Told Otherwise

On my very old post I once mentioned that I always wanted to be a mountaineer. So there is this one guy who worked for the family who used to tell me stories of his mountaineering activity. I always felt jealous of him, and wished to get my self one-of-those-feelings he describe so vigorously. The feeling when you finally get in the top, when green beans puree taste ten times better, when screaming at the top of your lungs renewed your spirit when you exhausted, when push-up is something you do willingly every morning to keep you warm, when take off your shoe never felt better, when water from clear river flows down your throat, oh the joy like no other!

So I and my roommates, on our very first year in college, five naive girls, young as we are -I’m only 17!- we read this book titled “5cm” that makes us hurled our self to Astacala’s secre. Even though we went home empty-handed after 12 days of adventure, without Red Scarf – scarf that only given after you finish the whole journey, 14 days in total – I experienced all those feelings I always wanted! No regret here, even though there’s black spot on my buttock’s left cheek and the mark of machete’s cut in my left hand knuckle near the index finger, not to mention several non-beauty dots in my legs. My friends went to try again next year but I didn’t, due to my mum pleaded me not to. Well, it was enough though. That twelve days of my life that I’ll never forget or regret.

There is an old saying it’s not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn’t do.

I want to do so many things. I want to live in India and write about their fascinating cultures. I want to be film-maker who visualize poem into indie-short movie, preferably silent movie, with cinematography so extravagant that it is breath-taking, like this clip. I want to learn salsa and Arabic languages. I want to write children’s book, like Hans Christian Andersen’s Tales or One Thousand and One Nights’s Tales that sucked me into this reading-fiasco from such early age. I want to learn Sanskrit – why did we changed to Latin while our ancient inscriptions all written in Sanskrit? – and the most simple of all is to learn how to bike, so that I could biking along the beach in vacation.

So I’m in my last year of college now. Four and a half year of education that I never had passion of, engineering that is. As I am ready to embrace the outside-world, despite all my graduated-friends who keep saying it sucks out there, I make this note to my self, so that I remember that I once this passionate naive girl, that it is never too old to learn, and that new things awaits you in every turn on your life if only you dare to make a turn.

I agree with Ted Mosby, your deepest passion, no matter how hard you deny it, that you force yourself not to want it, it’s always there. And until you finish it, it will always be.

Hopefully, someday, I get the chance to finish mine, and I can proudly say “Well that’s just the kind of person I am”


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